Jack Bauer Jokes

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked".

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

These are the cool ones. There are many more at http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

Blackberry 8700

Right when I thought I was free, I got pulled right back in!

In 2001, I used to have one of the first BlackBerrys (with full qwerty keyboard, thumbtyping was the term to compose messages). Back then they were called I-pagers. It also had an email address, but they were mainly used to communicate with those others who had them. I had it because of my work. Everyone on my project had one, including the client. The client actually was the phone company who provided the service. Ipaging during a meeting was the norm. People got stuff done on the ipager. We even had/carried our ipagers on weekend nights to communicate with each other: Where are you; is that bar crowded; going home, were the popular pages past 8pm. The lack of SMS was remedied with ipagers. Every now and then there was a work related i-page, which made life unpleasant.

The happiest two days of my life on that project were the day I got my ipager, and the day I returned it.

TODAY, I have a BlackBerry 8700c. I love it. The screen is huge, it renders normal web pages, has support for cookies and most web stuff, has my work email on it, and it synchronizes with corporate calendar. So I can email day-and-night. I can email when I am commuting on the bus. Best of all I can add Google Local (Maps) and Gtalk to it. Both of these applications run on the BlackBerry and are very fast and useful.

Once again I am addicted.

NEXT, I would like to have a model that is slightly thinner and lighter. It would be great if they can add mp3 support, a larger hard disk along with video support and a camera. I hear Apple's iTalk is going to be all that. If so, I might migrate.

emre

Internatinal man of mystery

Last year was a particularly special one as I have traveled to eleven countries in one year for various reasons. Here they are:

France
Holland
Indonesia
Italy
Morocco
Singapore
Sweden
Switzerland
Thailand
Turkey
United States

People who know me know that I do not like to miss my friends' special days. I have therefore traveled long distances over a weekend or an extended weekend. I have even crossed oceans and continents many times. Last weekend I was in Panama for one of my best friend's wedding. It was a blast. The trip to P brings 2006's count of visited countries to 5:

Italy
Mexico
Panama
Turkey
United States

Currently in the plan there is Brazil in October, and Nicaragua in near future. Will keep you up-to-date :-)

Emre

Free wifi at airports

I have not been traveling for work over 2.5 years now. In those days I was constantly traveling every Monday and Friday, wireless internet was at its infancy. So I never needed the Internet while traveling.
A couple of times during the last two years when I had long layovers, I actually paid for wireless internet at the airports. Some were ridicilously expensive, and some had very reasonable rates. Who needs 24 hour access at a single airport?
Anyway, my latest discovery: if you want free wifi access at an airport, hang out near executive club lounges. They have unencrypted, free wifi! The signal is strong enough that if you are nearby the lounge, you can easily pick it up.

Discovery made at IAH on my way back from Panama. (More details about Panama coming soon)

Emre